“The Selected Works of Horse E. Poo”

Horse E. Poo- fearless, bold, and brave. Horse E. Poo was a dreamer.

Horse E. Poo had unwavering faith in the “Become a Mermaid” spells she looked up online. Though she saw no physical evidence that the spells had worked, Horse E. Poo knew that magic did not follow the standard rules of logic. No doubter could ever expect to be worthy of joining the mermaids.

It was apparent to Horse E. Poo that the transformation had taken place in her heart, and because the spell was so elaborate, it was no surprise that it’d take longer for her legs to catch up. No worry, Horse E. Poo could wait.

So heavy was the responsibility of being a mermaid, Horse E. Poo concocted a fool-proof plan to make sure “Life of a Mermaid- My Story” (projected to be a best-selling tell-all) would be safe until its release after she escaped to the Caribbean. What can only be described as high-tech password encryption, Horse E. Poo developed an entirely uncrackable code. To this day, Horse E. Poo scholars can’t quite wrap their head around how she did it.

A mermaid of the people, she sought to educate the world on the wonders of sea life, making sure everyone knew to hark not, there is nothing to fear, for “starfish are very common to you and to me!”

If Horse E. Poo wanted to go from mermaid to marine biologist to writer, Horse E. Poo could. Why doubt?

Perhaps the first real mistake I ever made was forgetting about Horse E. Poo because Savannah R. Vold isn’t half as fearless, bold, or brave.

But I’m still a dreamer. The spells I used to practice have become high-frequency manifestation meditations on YouTube. Like Horse E. Poo, I haven’t seen much proof of their effectiveness, but I don’t doubt that they’re just taking some time to catch up with me.

Maybe I’ll reclaim Horse E. Poo. You know what they say,

It’s all in the name.