“It’s hard to understand a game without rules”

“How can you be painfully young and woefully old at the same time?”

“The fork, the vase, the hammer”

“August has become this sort of scratchy, loose-necked sweater that I won’t take off because it looked good on me in January”

“When determining whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, I encourage you to use anything but a glass- the answer leans half-empty, and you know it”

“Perhaps the first real mistake I ever made was forgetting about Horse E. Poo”